Walking with Dinosaurs: The Movie

Since the hit documentary BBC series, and made it’s final episode to civilization, to where we live today, they made a 3D worldwide movie based on that with new dinosaurs! New ones that we never heard of.

This begins when a teenage boy and his little sister are with their uncle which is a paleontologist, as they travel to Alaska. Not where the snow is, but in the green lands were they do a dig site together. With a tooth he found, a prehistoric bird played by John Leguizamo tells the prehistoric story.

About a triceratops like dinosaur that goes from underdog to hero on trying to protect the herd. He does fall in love with one, as his brother was jealous of him this whole time. That is how I really hate about that movie! That stupid brother of his. That bird maybe funny on sone funny parts on dinosaurs, but he did tell the story for sure.

Years went by, as that dinosaur, his girlfriend and selfish brother were all grown up. His brother was so selfish, he think’s he’s stupid, as he was leader of the herd. But when he was getting killed by some killer raptors, he saved him along with his girlfriend. And by deserving a roar for his brother, he was a jerk after all. He owes the clan big time as he deserves on that.

As he and his girlfriend mated and had eggs with newborns, this story ended as we all know how they got extinct. The meteor smashing into the Earth somewhere in Mexico, wiping all life on Earth, as this began with the prehistoric beasts.

In fact, where some of the dinosaurs were in thar time, they were close to Edmonton, Alberta! As for the cast, Justin Long plays the underdog hero dinosaur, as his girlfriend was played by Tiya Sircar. And for the modern day humans, the uncle played by Karl Uban, the new Leonard McCoy in “Star Trek” and Charlie Rowe in the TV movie, “Neverland”. He was the new Peter Pan when my dad and I watched this movie.

I maybe like Eddie Bracken as Mr. Roy Walley from “National Lampoon’s Vacation” reporting this, but as a film critic, I give this 5/10 stars. A straight “B”. For charges to place on, it would be that actor who plays the selfish dinosaur brother. For the rest, nah I don’t think so.

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Vegas Vacation

Since the Griswold’s conquered across America, Europe and stayed in good old Chicago for the Christmas holidays, this time they conquered the city of lights! Las Vegas! My old home. This movie was filmed in 1997 when I was two years old as a young Canadian. This was also the fourth and final installment to the National Lampoon Vacation film franchise. The Griswold’s have changed. Rusty and Audrey are all grown up, as Chevy Chase and Beverly D’Angelo as Clark and Ellen Griswold were getting old. This was their last chance to do this, in which they did.

The movie begins when their last vacation begins. The kids and almost everyone doesn’t want to go, but were very surprised to be ever when they made it there. And yet, they did took a plane there instead of driving. When they got there, their Cousin Eddie and the rest were there and happy to see them! They even took a visit there, in the middle of the desert. The one thing that was totally but extremely hot, was that they BBQ their chicken on a hot rock.

You see, when it’s summer in Las Vegas, it’s extremely hot, you’ll be sweating like a pig. But more important, so hot you don’t wanna sit on a rock or a lid of a car. They even cook their food such as fried eggs on a car lid that can be done in seconds. It can be regular in Vegas when it’s winter.

What was really majestic and made me deep in my heart, was Siegfried and Roy. Two German lion tamers. But that’s not all, Clark Griswold was with them on stage with white snow Siberian tigers! A whole flock of them! My mother once said that when she was there still pregnant, the months before I was born, she received a plush white tiger. She gave it to me on the day I was born. I loved it from that moment forward. I felt like I was raised by white Siberian tigers to be like a hunter like Claire Danes when she played Princess Mononoke.

And so on this movie, Rusty was a lucky winner when he won many prizes before he could be 21 years old, as Ellen was in sight with Wayne Newton, as Clark was in a gambling game with a gambler instructor played by Wallace Shawn.

All was in luck, as they realize they were all broke. No money in their bank accounts! They had enough luck when they won a game, as they held their anniversary for Ellen and Clark.

This movie ends it all when they ride in four cars Rusty won, all the way home back to Chicago. It was going to be a long trip for them. As of what I saw, two years since I was born, I now give this, 3 1/2 stars!

National Lampoon’s European Vacation

Chevy Chase as Clark Griswold is back again, and this time, he and his entire family won a TV show prize for a European vacation!

In a TV show they were in called “Pig in a Poke”, they beat champion family team as they were the grand prize winners. And for a reward, they get to go on a vacation to all of Europe! England, France, Germany, and Italy. Their kids didn’t want to go, but mostly it was their daughter, Audrey.

She thought the food was full of fats there. Rusty didn’t mind. He just might give it a try maybe. So the whole family went there, after they had one last BBQ dinner in Chicago. They had dreams on the way there. The best one was Rusty’s since the song played “Heat is on” by the Power Station.

That band was last seen as THE power station in that Family Guy Star Wars spoof. “It’s A Trap!”.
The worst ones were Ellen’s, Audrey’s, and Clark’s when he dreamed of a spoof of “The Sound of Music”. They had a splendid time in London, just had a little trouble there. Even at their hotel, the TV channels nothing but a cheese factory as phone calls are expensive. The cool and funny scene was that when they were in Stonehenge, they finally knocked it down! I wish to see no more of that, unless we need to know and find out, who build them there.

In France, was boring for their kids, and how they lost a few things there. Audrey still wanted to go home, as she missed her boyfriend. They bought many things there that made them happy, as they went onto Germany.

Germany was the worst part because Clark thought he had relatives there, but he didn’t. They stopped by a strangers house, thinking it was them. That was how I hate it. Finally at last, they went on a train as their last stop was Italy.

While in Italy, after being bored and tired, Ellen was captured by a thief as Clark rescued her. That was an amazing scene as they fell in a fountain. The only weapon that was ever used in that movie was a Walther P-38 by that thief. At last, the best part of their trip was going home. While over New York City, Clark was accidentally in the pilots seat controls as they knocked over the torch upside down. That was comedy to hear someone say…

“Yep, the Griswold’s are back”

And the cool part, and awesome of all the comedy movie’s is the end credits on all of America as the band plays “Back in America”! There was Smokey Bear, Christopher Reeve as Superman, Pale Rider played by Clint Eastwood, MTV, Bugs Bunny, Uncle Sam, National Lampoon magazines such as a dog looking at someone with a revolver, and a splendid scene from the movie, “Yankee Doodle Dandy”

Besides Chevy Chase, you know Beverly D’Angelo, and Anthony Michael Hall. But also, there is Eric Idle as a bike rider, and the thief played by Victor Lanoux. Great cast.

Three stars for this movie!

National Lampoon’s Vacation

This was a hit Chevy Chase classic when I first saw this on TV. It is from the hit magazine group of “National Lampoon”, but this is what I like to call, 80’s classic.

Starring Chevy Chase as Clark Griswold, he tries to the make the best vacation while going across America. From Chicago to L.A. on the family’s favorite amusement park. Walley World, on their favorite cartoon character, Marty Moose.

Along the way, they get into schemes, hilarious scenes, some scenes I do not like, as Clark almost got shot by a cowboy double barreled shotgun! 

Along the way, they meet their Cousin Eddie, their home as one of their kids has many nude magazines. He and their son Rusty read them a lot there. And before they could, Eddie gave Clark a set of white shiny boots as their Aunt Edna and her crazy dog came along. She wanted a lift to Phoenix, Arizona.

Unfortunately, after her precious dog pissed on their lunch, and being tied to the back end of their car, that dog deserved that after Clark accidentally killed it. A Colorado police officer played by James Keach caught him doing that when he found that the leash making all that noise at the back end of their car. After much mayhem happened like losing a few things, getting lost in the desert, stealing some money and taking a quick look at the Grand Canyon, Aunt Edna died in her sleep!! They wrapped her body and left her in the rain when they got to her place in Phoenix, Arizona.

At last, Los Angeles! And there, was Walley World! They did a great job making there. Why?

“Cause we’re the Griswold’s!”

Even when they made a terrific scene while “Chariots of Fire” played. The problem was when they got there, it was closed for cleaning and repairs. This made Clark get upset after he listened to the program of the moose. When he quickly went to a sporting goods shop and went back to the park as the family enters, there was a nerdy guard played by John Candy!!

As he held a BB gun, they rode on some rides they ever liked the most. John Candy as the guard had a bad situation on one of the roller coasters. He threw up. As they were having much fun and laughter, the police and SWAT officers came to arrest them! And then came the park owner, Mr. Roy Walley himself! He’s played by Eddie Bracken.

As they understand together about vacations for two weeks, knowing about promises to be made, all was well again as they weren’t going to jail. Mr. Roy Walley happily didn’t press any charges as the Griswalds, Roy himself, the park officers, the SWAT team and police officers were riding on the roller coaster together. And that was the end of the movie as “Dancin’ across the USA” played.

How did they get back to Chicago? They sold the car for scrap as they rode a plane back to Chicago instead.

There was also Anthony Michael Hall before “The Breakfast Club”, and Eugene Levy as the car salesman. 

So, a straight “A” for this, and 3 1/2 stars!

Transformers: Age of Extinction

This fourth installment was a new smash hit, when this came to theaters. In this new chapter, our old cast no longer is in this as they moved on. So new members chapter are in this such as Mark Wahlberg, Stanley Tucci, T.J. Miller, Nicola Peltz, and Thomas Lennon.

The opening scene begins with cyborg ships from Cybertron, in the dinosaur age wiping all life on Earth with chrome technology. Everything they shoot is liquid chrome. And by that, they made monsters for themselves. Dinobots.

It was been four years since the battle in Chicago by those robots. The world was full of hatred for what they did and what they have done to Earth. The Autobots and Decepticons. Many hunts were on killing those robots from Cybertron as bounty hunters were getting lots of cash as rewards. Since this began and for what the world really hates now, they want to banish those robot cyborgs forever and never to come back to Earth…ever! Ratchet, the medical Autobot was the first one to be killed. Never again.

Meanwhile, a struggling inventor trying to sell some things, is hoping to get enough cash to pay for everything on their farm, their home, and college for her daughter to go to. When he took an old truck from an antique theater, it was Optimus Prime, alive and injured! He was dusty, but cranky as he was losing some parts. They almost got killed by the U.S. Government looking for him as they lost everything. By the time the inventor, her daughter and her boyfriend escaped with Optimus, geared up, and Optimus got a brand new look, there were the only Autobots that they ever saw left on Earth! There was Optimus, Bumblebee, a tank like Autobot played by John Goodman, a samurai helicopter Autobot, one of the small robots from the third movie, a paratrooper Autobot, and a Autobot wrecker who’s short, and plumped.

Optimus, was very mad throughout this whole movie as he does not like the way the humans did to Ratchet, and some Autobots they lost. He has got to be killed and the rest for what destruction he did to the world.

When the humans needed to fight against those monsters, they created monsters of their own to control. That way they could no longer use those after for what they had done. Unfortunately, a bad malfunction had happened as they turned against them! They wanted to kill the Autobots themselves, not the humans. Besides that, there was a giant cyborg bounty hunter wanting to kill those Autobots. His head can transform into night vision type and a large cannon on his face! He even own wild wolf like cyborg monsters on his ship!

Earth was safe at last, with the help of the Autobots and Dinobots. Some Decepticons maybe alive and man made, but Optimus was launched into space with a pillar to hide as he was going to fight against the Creators that have done them and this Earth. Before this ended, he gave out one last message.

“Leave planet Earth alone…”

That was all we could hear from him, until what they might do to the future in one final chapter.

We maybe hate for what they have done. But as I look at a old Major’s face like one in “Animal Farm” saying that anyone that we dislike can be our enemy, the days of these robots might have to come to an end hopefully when we no longer need them. Who knows about the final chapter between these two types of transformers? Perhaps, only Michael Bay.

Transformers: Dark of the Moon

When they were making this third installment, Megan Fox got arrested for stealing drugs as she didn’t make the parole of this third movie. So another actress played a new girlfriend to Shia LaBeouf. Rosie Huntington Whiteley.

So there is her, Shia, Tyrese Gibson, Josh Duhamel, Kevin Dunn, Buzz Aldrin as himself, John Turturro, and Alan Tudyk.

In the final days of Cybertron in the war, a spacecraft called the Ark was off course as it crash landed on the moon close to Earth. That was when this was radar detected and was reported to JFK. They thought in this time period of the Space Race, that the Russians were beating America to the moon. That was when U.S. President Kennedy declared the Apollo 11 mission to the moon.

Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong were totally shocked when they looked at the spacecraft. They said “My god” frightfully as they really believe that Earth was not alone in the universe at all. All three astronauts kept this top secret when they made it back to Earth. But only the Autobots would know about this.

Years went by, until in a new dawn in a new life, Sam and his new girlfriend were in a apartment as they have two little Autobot friends with them. While Sam and Carly (which is her name in this), find jobs, Bumblebee is with the Autobots protecting the Earth at all costs as they have new Autobots (since the second movie). When they were all in Russia and came back to Washington DC, there was a piece they found in Russia which was a piece of the spacecraft that crash landed on the moon and was discovered by the Apollo 11 team. The leader on that ship was Sentinel Prime, played by Leonard Nimoy.

Blasted off to the moon, finding the Ark, and taking home some pillars and Sentinel, Optimus Prime activated him and came back to life. What about our boy hero, Sam? He found a job for sure when he was delivering some mail to workers on a floor. There was on Asian worker who wanted to catch him and was out of his mind. He wasn’t doing that for himself, but a cyborg terror bird! He was killed by falling out the window for him.

After assassinations, mayhem, chaos, Sam with his Autobot friends again, and Sentinel Prime getting a new look on himself, Megatron was on the move as he, his Igor sidekick, and his faithful side in command Star-scream were making plans to annihilate on Earth. In a furious fight between the Autobots and new Decepticons, Sentinel Prime turned against the Autobots by killing Ironhide!

He stole the pillars he kept with, and almost killed every human in their war base in Washington DC!! As Sentinel was with Megatron, and his two sidekicks, Sentinel was activating the pillars as Megatron finally destroyed the Lincoln Memorial! By blasting the statue, the chair was now his as his Igor sidekick was eating the head of Abraham Lincoln. That is what I like about this movie!
That since the ape version of that in 2001 Tim Burton movie of “Planet of the Apes”!!!

Sentinel activated them as there was so much killer cyborgs from the moon as they were teleported from there, to Earth on Washington DC. They annihilated the Earth as they destroyed Washington DC as they headed towards Chicago.

A whole warfare was on in the battle of Chicago as the humans made a last stand. With the Autobots on their side and trying to save the world, it was a fight for the Earth on that, for Chicago and those cyborg warships that came from outer space!!

Star-scream was killed for good since the first movie, and how there was sky diving with special equipment and suits by the U.S. military. Lt. Colonel William Lennox played by Josh Duhamel made a awesome scene with a few members in movie history. This showed like the future of tomorrow on this. Before the ending of this third installment, Sentinel Prime and Megatron were killed for good, as Optimus Prime did lose an arm. It was all that matters since the dark side of the Moon.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Starring Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox, Kevin Dunn, Tyrese Gibson, Josh Duhamel, John Turturro, Ramon Rodriguez, they all play in this “Transformers” sequel by director Michael Bay.

From the stone age when man were Indians like the 1990 version of “Lord of the Flies”, they were all killed by cyborg killing machines when they crash landed on Earth. They were all Egyptian type like cyborgs as one of them is the leader. They call him the Fallen.

After the Autobots destroyed another Decepticon in Shanghai and were warned about the Fallen, the boy Sam goes to college! It was his special time, but wasn’t going to bring his Bumblebee this time. Clues and clues were to come on this mystery. As Ravage, a tiger beat cyborg attacked a base and stole a fragment of the cube, other Decepticons as construction vehicles resurrect Megatron. After attacking a U.S. sub and launching into space, he finds his old master the Fallen as he’s the master and founder of all Decepticons. Their mission now is to kill Optimus and find that boy.

When Sam accidentally had cybertronic symbols as visions, they found him, his college friend and his girlfriend. They were captured when they were rescued by Optimus and Bumblebee. In a forest while fighting, Megatron killed Optimus as he the Fallen was set free.

With the help of an old friend, they found an old alley named Jetfire. A cranky old robot as a Blackbird. With his power, they were transported to Egypt! He, Bumblebee, two twin Autobots as separate cars, and the humans in this. They were to find an old tomb by seven Primes as there was a key. A key not only to resurrect Optimus, but to launch a cannon in a pyramid to the destroy the sun!

As U.S. Forces found them in Egypt, more Decepticons were on the move as they begin their assault! As there was lots of killer machines, and the Autobots with themselves and new ones, they took care of that as there was one big Decepticon that had a large mouth as it was like a vacuum cleaner. They call him Devestator. Good thing he died.

As it was like a big war in Egypt to where the pyramids are in the desert and close to the Sphinx, Sam finally resurrected Optimus as he was geared up powerfully when Jetfire gave out his soul to him after destroying a killer cyborg scorpion. On the other hand, Bumblebee did ripped apart Ravage.

The cannon was destroyed as the Fallen was killed. The world was safe again as they headed on homecoming back to America. The good thing in this, is how they play Linkin Park song, “New Divide”. And he did thanked Sam for saving him. For a moment he’d be gone forever. But not the way Michael Bay does his movies.

Transformers

From the hit Hasbro series and the 80’s TV show, directed by Michael Bay, this was the first hit action realistic movie of “Transformers”.

When a cube that makes everything transform, crash lands on Earth from their home world called Cybertron, the whole world was in digital shock when they were interfering with weird sounds on everything digital, and killer robots that attacked soldiers and spies.

Meanwhile, a boy in high school gets a car that was a transforming robot! It caused him so much trouble, he’d be looking for payback on that car. But when a killer cop robot almost kills him and that robot of his saved him, meteorites hit the Earth close to his town that were the same as his one. One of them is the leader which is Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots. His car was Bumblebee which he can’t speak, as there was Ratchet, the medical officer, Jazz, his first lieutenant, and Ironhide which he has lots of cannons. They wanted to find the cube before Megatron and the Decepticons find it. That way they can rebuild their home world and put an end to this war.

As there was so much mayhem, chaos, warfare to these killer robots, the boy placed the cube in Megatron’s chest as he died of that. They were a few robots that died in this, that I’m not sure, but they lost Jazz as Bumblebee lost his legs. Then he spoke for the first time!

“Permission to speak sir?”

“Permission granted, my old friend”

“I wish to stay with the boy”

After everything was settled by the U.S. Government, leaving no evidence, as some soldiers came back from Iran, as the boy spend some time with a girl, Optimus can look upon the sunset as he know, that there’s more to that than meets the eye. He would send a message to any other surviving Autobots out there. That they are on Earth waiting. And the best part of this movie, is Linkin Park’s song, “What I’ve Done”. And also, when the boy’s girlfriend came to help with Bumblebee after losing his legs, she hacked a tow truck as they had a little fun. It was cool when they did that.

“Now that’s what I like to call a Warthog prototype!”

Prototype- Like the real thing but need to be tested. After testing it, then they build the real one.

In this are Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox, Jon Voight, Tyrese Gibson, Josh Duhamel, Anthony Anderson, Kevin Dunn from “Godzilla” in 1998, Bernie Mac, and John Turturro.

Dude, Where’s My Car?

This was my first hangover movie before the “Hangover” movie series. Starring Ashton Kutcher and Sean William Scott, these two have no memory for what happened yesterday as they need to know how they did it.

The only problem was the trouble. There was a voice over lady that keeps saying “And then…” at a fast food joint, two men dressed up as women that need their money back, two of their girlfriends asking them to clean up their house, so much pudding they had in their house, a crazy ostrich that stole their car, and how a group of scientists and themselves saved the universe. There were the two alien men that gave them the hangover, as they were into trouble by a 50ft alien sexy lady!

This movie contains nudity, sexuality, big breasts even in enhancements, and some funny words those boys say before getting their memories erased. And the next day, after finding their car, things back to normal and received gifts from the two men aliens that want to thank them for saving the universe. There was something like that in the end their girlfriends got, even no matter what you see.

I can’t rate this movie yet, but it does seem a bit hilarious.

Dragonheart

With Dennis Quaid, Pete Postlethwaite and the voice of Sean Connery, they are like amazing in a adventure like so. Since the time dragons were almost dead, there was one more that was the last one. So with it, a knight and a friar, they try to make money as they need to know to end something in a world like so. After that dragon was gone, a new world was born for good as the dragon will be remained in the stars.

It was pretty amazing for those three. Maybe 6/10 for this movie.