Walking with Dinosaurs: The Movie

Since the hit documentary BBC series, and made it’s final episode to civilization, to where we live today, they made a 3D worldwide movie based on that with new dinosaurs! New ones that we never heard of.

This begins when a teenage boy and his little sister are with their uncle which is a paleontologist, as they travel to Alaska. Not where the snow is, but in the green lands were they do a dig site together. With a tooth he found, a prehistoric bird played by John Leguizamo tells the prehistoric story.

About a triceratops like dinosaur that goes from underdog to hero on trying to protect the herd. He does fall in love with one, as his brother was jealous of him this whole time. That is how I really hate about that movie! That stupid brother of his. That bird maybe funny on sone funny parts on dinosaurs, but he did tell the story for sure.

Years went by, as that dinosaur, his girlfriend and selfish brother were all grown up. His brother was so selfish, he think’s he’s stupid, as he was leader of the herd. But when he was getting killed by some killer raptors, he saved him along with his girlfriend. And by deserving a roar for his brother, he was a jerk after all. He owes the clan big time as he deserves on that.

As he and his girlfriend mated and had eggs with newborns, this story ended as we all know how they got extinct. The meteor smashing into the Earth somewhere in Mexico, wiping all life on Earth, as this began with the prehistoric beasts.

In fact, where some of the dinosaurs were in thar time, they were close to Edmonton, Alberta! As for the cast, Justin Long plays the underdog hero dinosaur, as his girlfriend was played by Tiya Sircar. And for the modern day humans, the uncle played by Karl Uban, the new Leonard McCoy in “Star Trek” and Charlie Rowe in the TV movie, “Neverland”. He was the new Peter Pan when my dad and I watched this movie.

I maybe like Eddie Bracken as Mr. Roy Walley from “National Lampoon’s Vacation” reporting this, but as a film critic, I give this 5/10 stars. A straight “B”. For charges to place on, it would be that actor who plays the selfish dinosaur brother. For the rest, nah I don’t think so.

Vegas Vacation

Since the Griswold’s conquered across America, Europe and stayed in good old Chicago for the Christmas holidays, this time they conquered the city of lights! Las Vegas! My old home. This movie was filmed in 1997 when I was two years old as a young Canadian. This was also the fourth and final installment to the National Lampoon Vacation film franchise. The Griswold’s have changed. Rusty and Audrey are all grown up, as Chevy Chase and Beverly D’Angelo as Clark and Ellen Griswold were getting old. This was their last chance to do this, in which they did.

The movie begins when their last vacation begins. The kids and almost everyone doesn’t want to go, but were very surprised to be ever when they made it there. And yet, they did took a plane there instead of driving. When they got there, their Cousin Eddie and the rest were there and happy to see them! They even took a visit there, in the middle of the desert. The one thing that was totally but extremely hot, was that they BBQ their chicken on a hot rock.

You see, when it’s summer in Las Vegas, it’s extremely hot, you’ll be sweating like a pig. But more important, so hot you don’t wanna sit on a rock or a lid of a car. They even cook their food such as fried eggs on a car lid that can be done in seconds. It can be regular in Vegas when it’s winter.

What was really majestic and made me deep in my heart, was Siegfried and Roy. Two German lion tamers. But that’s not all, Clark Griswold was with them on stage with white snow Siberian tigers! A whole flock of them! My mother once said that when she was there still pregnant, the months before I was born, she received a plush white tiger. She gave it to me on the day I was born. I loved it from that moment forward. I felt like I was raised by white Siberian tigers to be like a hunter like Claire Danes when she played Princess Mononoke.

And so on this movie, Rusty was a lucky winner when he won many prizes before he could be 21 years old, as Ellen was in sight with Wayne Newton, as Clark was in a gambling game with a gambler instructor played by Wallace Shawn.

All was in luck, as they realize they were all broke. No money in their bank accounts! They had enough luck when they won a game, as they held their anniversary for Ellen and Clark.

This movie ends it all when they ride in four cars Rusty won, all the way home back to Chicago. It was going to be a long trip for them. As of what I saw, two years since I was born, I now give this, 3 1/2 stars!

National Lampoon’s European Vacation

Chevy Chase as Clark Griswold is back again, and this time, he and his entire family won a TV show prize for a European vacation!

In a TV show they were in called “Pig in a Poke”, they beat champion family team as they were the grand prize winners. And for a reward, they get to go on a vacation to all of Europe! England, France, Germany, and Italy. Their kids didn’t want to go, but mostly it was their daughter, Audrey.

She thought the food was full of fats there. Rusty didn’t mind. He just might give it a try maybe. So the whole family went there, after they had one last BBQ dinner in Chicago. They had dreams on the way there. The best one was Rusty’s since the song played “Heat is on” by the Power Station.

That band was last seen as THE power station in that Family Guy Star Wars spoof. “It’s A Trap!”.
The worst ones were Ellen’s, Audrey’s, and Clark’s when he dreamed of a spoof of “The Sound of Music”. They had a splendid time in London, just had a little trouble there. Even at their hotel, the TV channels nothing but a cheese factory as phone calls are expensive. The cool and funny scene was that when they were in Stonehenge, they finally knocked it down! I wish to see no more of that, unless we need to know and find out, who build them there.

In France, was boring for their kids, and how they lost a few things there. Audrey still wanted to go home, as she missed her boyfriend. They bought many things there that made them happy, as they went onto Germany.

Germany was the worst part because Clark thought he had relatives there, but he didn’t. They stopped by a strangers house, thinking it was them. That was how I hate it. Finally at last, they went on a train as their last stop was Italy.

While in Italy, after being bored and tired, Ellen was captured by a thief as Clark rescued her. That was an amazing scene as they fell in a fountain. The only weapon that was ever used in that movie was a Walther P-38 by that thief. At last, the best part of their trip was going home. While over New York City, Clark was accidentally in the pilots seat controls as they knocked over the torch upside down. That was comedy to hear someone say…

“Yep, the Griswold’s are back”

And the cool part, and awesome of all the comedy movie’s is the end credits on all of America as the band plays “Back in America”! There was Smokey Bear, Christopher Reeve as Superman, Pale Rider played by Clint Eastwood, MTV, Bugs Bunny, Uncle Sam, National Lampoon magazines such as a dog looking at someone with a revolver, and a splendid scene from the movie, “Yankee Doodle Dandy”

Besides Chevy Chase, you know Beverly D’Angelo, and Anthony Michael Hall. But also, there is Eric Idle as a bike rider, and the thief played by Victor Lanoux. Great cast.

Three stars for this movie!

National Lampoon’s Vacation

This was a hit Chevy Chase classic when I first saw this on TV. It is from the hit magazine group of “National Lampoon”, but this is what I like to call, 80’s classic.

Starring Chevy Chase as Clark Griswold, he tries to the make the best vacation while going across America. From Chicago to L.A. on the family’s favorite amusement park. Walley World, on their favorite cartoon character, Marty Moose.

Along the way, they get into schemes, hilarious scenes, some scenes I do not like, as Clark almost got shot by a cowboy double barreled shotgun! 

Along the way, they meet their Cousin Eddie, their home as one of their kids has many nude magazines. He and their son Rusty read them a lot there. And before they could, Eddie gave Clark a set of white shiny boots as their Aunt Edna and her crazy dog came along. She wanted a lift to Phoenix, Arizona.

Unfortunately, after her precious dog pissed on their lunch, and being tied to the back end of their car, that dog deserved that after Clark accidentally killed it. A Colorado police officer played by James Keach caught him doing that when he found that the leash making all that noise at the back end of their car. After much mayhem happened like losing a few things, getting lost in the desert, stealing some money and taking a quick look at the Grand Canyon, Aunt Edna died in her sleep!! They wrapped her body and left her in the rain when they got to her place in Phoenix, Arizona.

At last, Los Angeles! And there, was Walley World! They did a great job making there. Why?

“Cause we’re the Griswold’s!”

Even when they made a terrific scene while “Chariots of Fire” played. The problem was when they got there, it was closed for cleaning and repairs. This made Clark get upset after he listened to the program of the moose. When he quickly went to a sporting goods shop and went back to the park as the family enters, there was a nerdy guard played by John Candy!!

As he held a BB gun, they rode on some rides they ever liked the most. John Candy as the guard had a bad situation on one of the roller coasters. He threw up. As they were having much fun and laughter, the police and SWAT officers came to arrest them! And then came the park owner, Mr. Roy Walley himself! He’s played by Eddie Bracken.

As they understand together about vacations for two weeks, knowing about promises to be made, all was well again as they weren’t going to jail. Mr. Roy Walley happily didn’t press any charges as the Griswalds, Roy himself, the park officers, the SWAT team and police officers were riding on the roller coaster together. And that was the end of the movie as “Dancin’ across the USA” played.

How did they get back to Chicago? They sold the car for scrap as they rode a plane back to Chicago instead.

There was also Anthony Michael Hall before “The Breakfast Club”, and Eugene Levy as the car salesman. 

So, a straight “A” for this, and 3 1/2 stars!

Dude, Where’s My Car?

This was my first hangover movie before the “Hangover” movie series. Starring Ashton Kutcher and Sean William Scott, these two have no memory for what happened yesterday as they need to know how they did it.

The only problem was the trouble. There was a voice over lady that keeps saying “And then…” at a fast food joint, two men dressed up as women that need their money back, two of their girlfriends asking them to clean up their house, so much pudding they had in their house, a crazy ostrich that stole their car, and how a group of scientists and themselves saved the universe. There were the two alien men that gave them the hangover, as they were into trouble by a 50ft alien sexy lady!

This movie contains nudity, sexuality, big breasts even in enhancements, and some funny words those boys say before getting their memories erased. And the next day, after finding their car, things back to normal and received gifts from the two men aliens that want to thank them for saving the universe. There was something like that in the end their girlfriends got, even no matter what you see.

I can’t rate this movie yet, but it does seem a bit hilarious.

Dragonheart

With Dennis Quaid, Pete Postlethwaite and the voice of Sean Connery, they are like amazing in a adventure like so. Since the time dragons were almost dead, there was one more that was the last one. So with it, a knight and a friar, they try to make money as they need to know to end something in a world like so. After that dragon was gone, a new world was born for good as the dragon will be remained in the stars.

It was pretty amazing for those three. Maybe 6/10 for this movie.

Rise of the Planet of the Apes

After the 2001 version movie by director Tim Burton was a failure, they made a reboot series. And how the Planet of the Apes was meant to be born.

Starring James Franco, Andy Serkis, Brian Cox, Tom Felton, and John Lithgow, this tells on how the apes began to conquest for freedom. In San Francisco, USA, at a genetic laboratory, scientists were creating a cure for Alzheimer’s disease. To do that, they have been using apes as test subjects. Such as gorilla’s, chimps and orangutans.

Some of them began to become clever, until it came to the rise of a chimp leader many years later. Caesar was his name. And after exposed by a toxic chemical gas that the scientists created, he began to speak like a human.

With Caesar on leading his apes to freedom, they ran out of San Francisco and into the Redwood Forest. For that place became their home to them.

What about the humans? With some of the scientists exposed by the toxic chemical gas that they created, it became a plague as it spread on every single human on Earth. For a success, 7/10 stars.

 

Battle for the Planet of the Apes

In the final chapter of the original saga, Roddy McDowall as Caesar owns a ape city in a forest as they live in peace with humans. The gorillas can get a little grumpy, but the orangutans are wise and smart in other things in science. Starring him, Natalie Trundy, John Huston as a Lawgiver, Claude Akins as Aldo, Paul Williams as Virgil, and Lew Ayres as Mandemus, they fight for freedom for what the planet will be for. Ape or man.

As Caesar found out the truth about his parents when he, Virgil and MacDonald went to the city in ruins, mutated humans who live underground like moles, battle the apes on who will be slave and who will be master. With the gorillas out of their minds on who will be in command, Aldo became so obsessed in this, that he hurt Caesars son, Cornelius. He died after that, as the battle began.

When the battle was over, they realize Aldo killed his son. The rule was ape should never kill ape at all. So all of the apes, were mad at him and Caesar too until….he feel out of a tree as Aldo was dead. They would never trust an gorilla general again.

So in the end, humans and apes live peacefully together as they lived in a bright and happy future, never than better.

So for the whole saga, on all five movies, as a report, “B+”.

Conquest of the Planet of the Apes

Since those two chimps escaped with their newborn son, and died in a harbor, the son survived as he leads revolution. In a dystopian future, after a virus struck, all the animals of the world died off as apes were the only animals left on the planet. In a big city in North America, in the year 1991, apes were first pampered as pets, second are abused as servants, until they were all oppressed as slaves.

With Roddy as Caesar, after Armando got arrested, he was on his own as he was one of the apes in the city. With chimps in dark green clothes, gorillas in red clothes, and orangutans in yellow clothes, they are on human skills as they need to obey masters.

Unfortunately, Armando fell out of a window and fell to death. This made Caesar very sad, and very angry. Until day by day, he starts making an alliance. Chimps, gorillas and rarely some orangutans started to agree with him. They stole supplies for what they need, never obeyed some of their masters, secretly understand Caesar very well, as the night of a revolution came!

After attacking the humans at a main building, the civilians were sent into their apartments to stay there and lock their doors. Only a SWAT soldier Thought Police like squad and other soldiers and guards were formed up to stop the apes. After killing one, one by one in a single firefight and there were so many apes, they had their last stand. Apes were armed, dangerous, were so many as they got wiped out in a single firefight. With a special speech, Natalie Trundy as a chimp named Lisa spoke “No” for the first time. As the apes were free, they now have seen the birth of a new world to the planet of the apes! They cheered like apes as they thanked Caesar for that while buildings were burned to the ground.

Escape from the Planet of the Apes

Since the monkey planet was destroyed, and there was nothing out there, the makers did a good job. But when more ideas came up, that was when this happened. It was 1973 on Earth when the spaceship of Charlton Heston was floating on water off the coast of L.A. And three chimps survived! They stole the spacecraft as they time travelled to Earth at this time and area. Roddy McDowall plays as Cornelius as Kim Hunter plays Zira, her wife. The three chimps were in a zoo, as the third male one was strangled to death by a sick gorilla.

When all of the U.S. and scientist found out about the way they talk, they were betting more concerned when Zira became pregnant. A man who was meant for the space program named Dr. Otto Hasslein was concerned about this so much, he believed that the future could happen! So with the two into custody, and people should never say the word, “monkey”, they escaped.

At a circus owned by Armando played by Ricardo Montalban, Zira gives birth to a son as they escaped more. With the help of two scientists, one played by Natalie Trundy, they headed for a abandon harbor as they were being hunted down. They were all shot as they never made it.

In the end it was time for the circus to leave, the son of that was still alive as he never liked the name, “little Milo”. Instead, he was called, “Caesar”.