My Cousin Vinny (1992)

Ralph Macchio (since he was in “The Karate Kid” & “Cobra Kai”) got himself into a lot of trouble in Alabama, when it comes to being falsely accused of a murder scenario, after stealing a can of tuna by accident.

Roger Ebert gave this 2.5 out of 4 stars, but I give this 7.7 out of 10 stars.

And it’s not just that, Marisa Tomei who was in this, won the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress. Joining Ralph Macchio and Marisa Tomei are Joe Pesci, James Rebhorn, and Chris Ellis in his starting role of his career. (He had a lot of hair in this. When he got he got older, he had less hair. Especially when he USAF Commander Karl Vasich in the 2001 adaption of “Planet of the Apes”).

Two boys from New York were on their way to college in Los Angeles. By making a quick stop in Alabama to get food, and after accidentally getting a can of tuna without paying, they become suspects all of a sudden. You see, after they left, two more guys came in and killed the store clerk in cold blood. So they end up in jail as suspects. One of them has a cousin who is a late attorney, as he had to go in there and solve the entire case.

For almost a week in a that small town in Alabama, he didn’t get any sleep after so much disturbance. In jail, where he ended up three times, he slept big time. And he didn’t woke up during a riot in prison with those two boys that he is trying to defend. He did proved that they were innocent indeed, and did had the help of his fiancé that is an expert on cars. In conclusion, that I found out which surprised me, Ralph Macchio was in an animated movie called “Journey Home: The Animals Of Farthing Wood”. He was the voice of a talking fox who needed to bring a clan of forest animals on a long journey to find a new home. Only on VHS. And I sure hope they have it on DVD soon enough….

Falling Down (1993)

While facing today’s society, even in future, it can be harsh and tough. People getting divorces, no breakfast bagel sandwiches at fast food joints after 11 am, construction sites in major cities, too much traffic, prices going high at stores and post offices, homeless people being filthy, nasty criminals, the police department not doing well, lame ass tv shows, cartoons, movies too, and so on and so forth.

For example, I had a spotless record for 25 years on cleaned teeth. No cavities. By early 2021, if it weren’t for my mom who acts like a clumsy old crackpot (or C.O.C for short) on giving me so much food to eat, she broke my spotless record as I got one at the size of a pick. A baby one. I both blamed her, especially when she likes to spill the beans, and mostly myself as I never ate anything after that appointment for 30 hours while my dad is still television obsessed.

Another example that during a head wave, there was this odd heads and tails game without the coin, as the cash prize was $1,000.00. I was in third place when I nearly had it. I need the money to help out my Uncle Jeff on his operations after being diagnosed with a brain tumour. When I lost, I yelled out the F word very loud, and dashed out very fast. I wanted to commit suicide that night, by diving into a dirty canal or get hit by a truck. Unfortunately I would go to hell, so I never did.

One more example, would be during the COVID-19 pandemic, while people are losing jobs due to the nightmare that threatens the world, McDonalds never gave out anymore Bacon and Egg Bagels. That’s a bummer. It would be really more tragic if they discontinued that stuff.

Which is why this movie explains everything, as it leads to today’s society. Thanks to the director who did “Batman Forever” and “Batman & Robin”, Joel Schumacher, long before his death on June 22nd, 2020. Inspired by the song, ‘London Bridge is Falling Down’.

Michael Douglas and Robert Duvall are the only two stars I know of in this movie. Film critic Roger Ebert loved this, but not his friend Gene Siskel. Therefore he wrote this in his positive review:

“Some will even find it racist because the targets of the film’s hero are African-American, Latino and Korean—with a few whites thrown in for balance. Both of these approaches represent a facile reading of the film, which is actually about a great sadness which turns into madness, and which can afflict anyone who is told, after many years of hard work, that he is unnecessary and irrelevant… What is fascinating about the Douglas character, as written and played, is the core of sadness in his soul. Yes, by the time we meet him, he has gone over the edge. But there is no exhilaration in his rampage, no release. He seems weary and confused, and in his actions he unconsciously follows scripts that he may have learned from the movies, or on the news, where other frustrated misfits vent their rage on innocent bystanders”.

During a muggy heat wave in Los Angeles, USA in the summertime, a divorced businessman wanted to celebrate her daughter’s birthday, but his divorced wife kept him away from her and the daughter too. On his long walk through the streets by encountering bad people, he triggered his anger management, took a bag of guns from criminals, and went on a rampage as he became totally fed up. Way, way before Joaquin Phoenix was Arthur Fleck/Joker in “Joker”. His roaring rampage of revenge brought the attention of the LAPD including a cop who was on his last day before retirement, as he went after him.

There are three best scenes in this. The first one was when he was at a fast food joint called WhammyBurger instead of McDonalds, he asked for both a breakfast meal and a lunch meal. When they declined his offer, he pulled out a sub machine gun, asked for the food, did a figure of speech, and took off. The second was when he was on a golf course and did some payback against some caddy players. And the third is when he was at a danger zone, he took a M72 LAW, and took a big shot in the sewers.

I do not like Michael Douglas when he worked for Marvel Comics, as a part of the dark side, as a scientist who can shrank to the size of a bug that I heard. But when he is this, he really entertained me. And I can imagine if he was doing that WhammyBurger scene again, he can take out Clancy Brown, Tom Kenny, Rodger Bumpass, Bill Fagerbake, Carolyn Lawrence, Mr. Lawrence, Mary Jo Catlett, and Lori Alan in that lousy “BobPants SpongeSquare” cartoon. At that fictional cartoon restaurant that should’ve went out of business. Or if he was on a golf course let’s say, Kingsway Golf Course or Golf Larrimac, he can give a retired NHL hockey player named Jim Kyte a total death wish. End up dead like Malcolm X.

So for a success, 7.7 out of 10 stars is what I give on this R-rated movie.

The Trial of the Chicago 7 (2020)

“The whole world is watching!!”

-protestors outside the courthouse.

I watched this twice on Netflix. Made it to the nominees at the 78th Annual Golden Globe Awards ceremony, this totally MUST WIN on all five Golden Globe Awards BIG TIME!! Best Director, Best Motion Picture- Drama, Best Original Song, Best Screenplay, and Best Supporting Actor on Sacha Baron Cohen. Either him or Daniel Kaluuya as Fred Hampton in “Judas and the Black Messiah” totally MUST WIN that Golden Globe Award for Best Supporting Actor.

Joseph Gordon Levitt, Eddie Redmayne, Sacha Baron Cohen, Michael Keaton, Kelvin Harrison Jr, and Yayha Abdul-Mateen since he was Black Manta in “Aquaman” are the only starts I know of in this.

In the mid summer of 1968, there were anti-Vietnam War protestors that went to the Democratic National Convention in Chicago, Illinois. They had a battle against the police, the military police, and the National Guard. 152 police officers, more than 100 civilians, and more than 500 protestors were injured.

Five months later, 8-7 men were arrested and were brought to court to tell the people, the court and every member in that trial everything for what happened, and why they wanted to end the war in Vietnam. Both the cops and the judge portrayed by David Langella were very, very bad over what they did that made Chicago go into chaos, while America mourns the death of young U.S. soldiers that get shot and killed in Vietnam. The trial went on for almost 165 days.

And after Fred Hampton, leader of the Black Panther Party was shot and killed by the Chicago Police Department, they had to do something. I can’t tell you for what happened to them in the end, cause well, that would be telling now, wouldn’t it? However, did had a good ending that made everyone clap and cheer.

So for a success, 7.8 out of 10 stars is what I give. In conclusion, this totally MUST WIN those five Golden Globe Awards at the 78th Annual Golden Globe Awards ceremony. This Sunday, February 28th, 2021 at 8 pm on tv channel NBC. And the sooner David Langella is dead of old age, the better….

Judas and the Black Messiah (2021)

Either this or “Trial of the Chicago 7” totally MUST WIN those two Golden Globe Awards at the 78th Annual Golden Globe Awards ceremony. For Best Supporting Actor and Best Original Song.

With Daniel Kaluuya as Fred Hampton, Lakeith Stanfield as William O’Neal, Dominque Fishback as Deborah Johnson, Darrell Britt-Gibson as Bobby Rush, and Martin Sheen as FBI director J. Edgar Hoover. No one has seen Martin Sheen in years. I can describe to you fans that he was as old as Makoto Iwamatsu.

In the late 1960’s after Dr. Martin Luther King Jr and Malcom X were shot and killed during the civil rights act, the Black Panther party was established. Fred Hampton was the head of the Black Panther party in Chicago, Illinois. A few more Black Panther parties were across the USA. Louisiana, Virginia, Texas, Iowa, Oregon, Washington, California, and more. Not just African-Americans, but regular Americans who live in the south end since the American Civil War support the Black Panther Parties too. They have all agreed that both the police and the FBI are fat pigs.

One by one, Black Panther party members in Chicago slowly were assaulted and shot by the police. Especially those gunfights at their headquarters. If I was there to support them, and if they were in a gunfight against the police, I’d have a hornet nest in a honey barrel sealed up. Once that is thrown to them off their building to the police and exploded, they would be prepared for a sticky situation and a lot of stinging from angry hornets. I like for how they have that Black Panther party symbol. And doesn’t, repeat doesn’t relate to that scary looking super dude from Marvel Comics.

I can’t tell you for what happened, but only seven of the Black Panther party members were left alive when it was all dissolved in 1982. And Fred Hampton was 21 years old when he was shot and killed on December 4th, 1969. 7.7 out of 10 stars is what I give on this. And it’s either this of “Trial of the Chicago 7” totally MUST WIN those two Golden Globe Awards. Best Original Song and Best Supporting Actor.

A Few Good Men (1992)

-Jack Nicholson as Colonel Nathan R. Jessup, USMC.

Directed by Rob Reiner, and based on a play like “Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom”, it’s all in court since ‘The Trial of the Chicago 7’, before the 2020 movie on Netflix.

Tom Cruise, Jack Nicholson, Kevin Bacon, Cuba Gooding Jr, Kiefer Sutherland, and Demi Moore are the only stars I know of in this. Nominated for five Golden Globe Awards and four Oscar awards, but lost due to Clint Eastwood on “Unforgiven”, this totally made film history.

At a military base in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, two U.S. Marines were accused of murder on a frightened one who was ready to quit. Both were in trouble as they took this case in Washington, DC, USA in court. Military court-martials as you know, as usual are notoriously lenient. As they can be super duper serious. I had to watch the edited version on tv channel AMC as they took some out swear words. Foul language. Potty mouth.

U.S. Navy lawyers had to defend them as their clients as they realize it was a setup. So I give this 7 and a half out of 10 stars. Despite for what Roger Ebert wrote and reviewed on this.

In addition, I sure hope “Trial of the Chicago 7” will MUST WIN those five Golden Globe Awards at the 78th Annual Golden Globe Awards ceremony on February 28th, 2021. Not, repeat NOT be left out nominated as how this did. Nominees for the 93rd Academy Awards will be announced on St. Patrick’s Day. March 15th, 2021.

Top 10 Bounty Hunters in Movies

I don’t like galactic bounty hunters in “Star Wars”, before and after George Lucas sold his work to the dark side, in which is a very, very bad idea. (I didn’t see them, thank god). But when I look at the ones in westerns, anime, some animated movies, other sci-fi movies, and etc, they are the real deal. In this top list, these are the top 10 bounty hunters in movies. No matter if they are animated or not, they will find you and be rewarded…..

10. The Pied Piper (Shrek: Forever After). Better pay this one right away. As both a pied piper and bounty hunter, he doesn’t talk pretty much. But when has his flute, he’ll play any music to brainwash his victims to make them dance. Ordered by Rumpelstiltskin as a king, he was to bring an ogre resistance to his knees to surrender. And he did a musical dance performance that is absolutely hilarious. So when you are brainwashed by this guy, he will make you shake your booty big time all the way. No matter what music he plays.

9. Django Freeman (Django: Unchained). He was a poor slave, until he was saved by Dr. King Schultz, a former dentist but now bounty hunter. Taught by his best friend, he would have a few tricks up his sleeve to make him the fastest gunslinger in the Wild, Wild West. In doing so, he saved his girlfriend and got his revenge on to those that raped and assaulted him in this ‘Candyland’ plantation. And the way he would do it, he’ll do it cleverly, bloody, and badly big time before he can end it with a massive bang.

8. Rick Deckard (Blade Runner). As a bounty hunter and a cop for the Los Angeles Police Department, he won’t be going after regular human criminals. Instead, he goes after synthetic humanoids called ‘replicants’. To make sure that they shall never hurt real humans at all in space colonies. Not even the ones that can kill you by squashing your eyeballs with their thumbs. By going after Roy Batty who murdered the founder of the Tyrell Corporation, and his replicant friends too, blade runners never trust synthetic humanoids.

7. Major Marquis Warren (The Hateful Eight). Again, from the works by Quentin Tarantino, we look at a different one this time. An African-American veteran who served in the Union Army during American Civil War, as he can pretty good as an investigator while he is a bounty hunter. He can be funny, hilarious, and serious when there is more talk on racism. By trusting the sheriff of Red Rock, Wyoming before gets his $8,000 pay on three dead criminals at their destination, he sure got himself in a pickle at a stagecoach stopover.

6. Spike Spiegel (Cowboy Bebop: The Movie). Born & raised on one of our planets in our solar system, this 27 year old smoking bounty hunter by working with three more members, will his outlaws brought to justice dead or alive. In their adventure, by facing a mysterious terrorist on creating a deadly pathogen, they had to find this terrorist, and discover the source of the pathogen before the attack can take place on the colonists. An expert in flying, quick reflexes, & loaded with arsenal, you’ll be in a Mexican standoff with this one.

5. Amelia Ann McFly (Trigun: Badlands Rumble). This female bounty hunter doesn’t trust perverts like Vash the Stampede, but she does happen to have a quick allergic reaction all of a sudden that make her have an itchy rash. By working with Vash with his three friends, they were going after her criminal father who murdered her mom when she was a little girl. Her personal work can be not only for money, but for vengeance. And besides her magazine-fed lever action rifle, she also contains a secret weapon unlike any other.

4. Colonel Douglas Mortimer (For a Few Dollars More). Before Lee Van Cleef was the bad bounty hunter ‘Angel Eyes’ in “The Good, The Bad & The Ugly”, he was pretty good as this one. By carrying a large variety of weaponry, this ex-colonel turned bounty hunter can have his pistol with a clip-on large wooden stock to make sure that he will get his outlaws, right at the forehead. By working with the poncho wearing and cigar smoking Man With No Name, they go after the merciless killer, El Indio as he’ll be cashing out instead of checking out.

3. Porco Rosso/Marco Pagot (Porco Rosso). Thank Hayao Miyazaki from both Studio Ghibli & GKIDS a lot for doing this one. An Italian World War I flying ace veteran and bounty hunter, was under a spell to have the face of a pig. By hunting down airborne pirates in his old fashioned seaplane in the Adriatic Sea, he would damage their planes in a quick dogfight, and make them sink into the ocean if he wants to rescue little schoolgirls. Especially on bringing them to justice. He got into some trouble, but thanks to Fio, he had his curse lifted for good.

2. Jonah Hex (Jonah Hex). A calvaryman veteran who served in the Confederate army during the American Civil War, he became a bounty hunter after a betrayal by his nasty commander and enforcer. Revived by Native Americans with temporary powers, this antihero with his burnt scar on his face will temporarily resurrect the dead, as he can be serious on catching outlaws. Lightening quick, excellent in marksmanship, and loaded with gatling guns on his horse, he took the liberty to have his vengeance as he will mean very serious business.

1. Lockdown (Transformers: Age of Extinction). Taking the number 1# spot on the list, is a real alien robot bounty hunter from outer space. And you don’t want to mess with this one. Sent by Quintessa, the last creator of Cybertron, he came to Earth to put an end to the fight between the Autobots and Decepticons. Armed with blade weapons, massive arsenal, and have packs of Cybertronic wolves called Steeljaws, he will either blow your away or have his Steeljaws to rip you apart. In addition, he despises humans who are against him….

Do you agree with my picks? Which are your top 10 bounty hunters?

This one may has went sideways, as how a corpse dealer with a talking tanuki (raccoon dog) was ripping her off badly, but she has a lot to learn to be a professional like these ones. And needs a better dealer than how that greedy one is, with that tanuki (raccoon dog).

Takechiyo: He is not really-! (covers his mouth)
Bud Abbott: What do you know?! A talking raccoon!
Lou Costello: You said that?
Bill Murray as a boss: And who is this greedy dealer?
Bobby: His name is Jyubei. He is a corpse dealer, and lives in a hut by the sea on a cliff. He’s a greedy one when he likes to rip people off on dead bodies for money. And he does do illegal stuff. If you want the MTVPD to bring him to justice, tell them to use the word ‘Yashahime’ to find him. He has a scar on his face, and has one eye. They can’t miss it.
Bill Murray as a boss: Okay, good to know. Marty, call the MTVPD. Have his business shut down, get rid of what he has, and have him behind bars.
Takechiyo: Wait a sec, that’s my home! Where am I suppose to go?
Bill Murray as a boss: Thank you. Call the animal pound. Have him stay there for a while.
Halle Berry as an MTVPD operator: Movies & TV Police Department. We protect and serve all movie, television and cartoon characters. How can we help you?
Marty: Yes, we like to report an illegal corpse dealer, please.

(Hours later, Jyubei is behind bars)

Jyubei the Corpse Dealer: Damn it! Then who is gonna take care of Takechiyo?
Guard: Just got off a phone call. He’ll be at the city pound for a long, long time. And no one will save him to bail him.

THE END

Simon in the Land of Chalk Drawings (2002 revival)

Way, way before Nickelodeon did “Chalk-zone” with its chalk characters that sung very bad made up songs on their cartoon tv show, that were shown on tv channel YTV, that I give a thumbs down on, as this is majorly bogus….

…their rivalry tv channel Teletoon had Simon. This I give a thumbs up on for youngsters to enjoy.

Song lyrics:

Come on, my name is Simon.

And I’m inviting you, into a world that’s hard to believe but it’s absolutely true.

From my imagination, what I draw comes true. If can do it, then so can you.

What’s inside your head, can be absolutely wonderful. If you plow your head, it’s kind of a miracle.

Come on, my name is Simon. And I’m inviting you.

Narrated by Ernie Coombs as his final tv role, just before he passed away in 2001, I highly recommend that this will be for youngsters when they are like in grade 2 or grade 3 like how I was. I used to watch this at home when I take sick days, PD Days on Fridays, and when I broke my left leg once from a skating accident. I would watch in the later mornings around 10 am while recovering.

Simon is a young boy who loves to draw on the chalkboard. He didn’t realized that his chalkboard was full of magic. By living in a colourless neighbourhood where his mom and friends live, he realizes that his drawings on the chalkboard come to life in a spirited land, once he climbs a ladder and goes over a fence, near his house. All around him, when he is in this land of chalk drawings, everything is all colour. And when he goes home, we go back to everything black and white. It’s way, way before kids can watch that famous movie we know, “The Wizard of Oz” with Judy Garland.

This had a lot of reruns before it’s cancellation in early 2004. With 13 episodes on 65 shorts, that were 5 minutes each, this ran for only one season which was fine with me. The best episodes on this, was how Simon had to stop a rivalry between the sun and moon, solve problems with a strongman, a nurse, a bull, a joker from a card deck, a lion mask, or anything he drew, and help his chalk drawn friends that he met there.

The only episodes I disliked were a mean babysitter, an angry bear, and a naughty campsite scout. A ‘B+’ what I give. So rather than the very old original version that came out of Britain where Simon is very little, and is forced to wear a tie and school clothes, this revival version is the real deal for kids who need entertainment on chalk drawings than how Nickelodeon did. Or any of those other lame cartoons or live action tv shows that both YTV and Teletoon had also. Like a bald headed kid who is a total douchebag along with his little baby sister, two cockroaches as one of them is a transforming robot, and “Monster Warriors” that is ripping off old movies like ‘Anaconda’, ‘Eight Legged Freaks’, and ‘Ghostbusters’.

TENET (2020)

It’s F*** YOU BIG TIME on that stupid “Power Rangers: Time Force” from Saban Entertainment and the dark side when it comes to time bending by working for a time force. 🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻(Didn’t see that stupid tv show thank god. I was mostly on “Digimon: Digital Monsters” when I was a youngster. That was a total thumbs up. 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻).

From Warner Bros, and director Christopher Nolan who did “Dunkirk”, “Interstellar”, “Inception”, and “The Dark Knight” trilogy in his own way from DC comics, there is a real time force much better than ever before. Denzel Washington’s son is in this. John Davis Washington. Joining him are Robert Pattinson, and Himesh Patel. Filmed in seven countries, this is totally a MUST WIN at the 78th Annual Golden Globe Awards ceremony for Best Original Score, now that this made it to the nominees. And hopefully, the 93rd Academy Awards in April 2021.

In the early days of World War III, (unlike the one from “Red Dawn” in 1984), it was a threat to the world until a C.I.A agent joined a real time force to prevent World War III from happening. When they are time bending, they don’t get into time loops like “Groundhog Day”, “Edge of Tomorrow” and “Fireworks”. You can tell when a bullet or a car coming backwards to you. Or when you see a dust cloud or an explosion in reverse. Filmed in seven countries, I don’t know on how or why Christopher Nolan does that time bending and warping, but it was interesting like for what he did on “Dunkirk” on scenes forward or backward.

Joining Washington, Pattinson and Patel, are Kenneth Branagh, Michael Caine, and Aaron Taylor Johnson. Kenneth Branagh is the bad guy in this. Dramatic, filled with action, car chasing, time bending, and gun fighting, I’m giving this 7.9 out of 10 stars. Recommended for 15 years of age and older. In conclusion, as I listened to the original music score in this, this totally MUST WIN that Golden Globe Award for Best Original Score. BIG TIME. And I sure hope that the next movie that Christopher Nolan directs in future, will be another historical movie like how he did on “Dunkirk”.

Gene Siskel & Roger Ebert interview on the Late Show with Conan O’Brien (February 13th, 1997)

I don’t watch much of their tv shows that they did, or look at their reviews on the internet, but I do know that when they do movie reviews, I would guarantee on what they would say by looking online on what they say or rate. For example, the 1980 movie “The Fog”. Not very much horror; as like for how Gene Siskel of the Chicago Tribune & Roger Ebert of the Chicago Sun-Times reviewed, thumbs down indeed.

However when they reviewed the 1996 Japanese animated movie, “Ghost in the Shell” that I heard, thumbs up indeed as how I did on that anime masterpiece. Same thing to any anime masterpiece that they reviewed like “Grave of the Fireflies”, “Princess Mononoke”, and more. Long before Gene Siskel died of a brain tumour and complications from his surgery.

In this interview clip from “The Late Show With Conan O’Brien”, we look back at February 13th, 1997. Just before the 69th Academy Awards, these two famous film critics, Siskel & Ebert talk about how they are, where they got their ideas on ‘thumbs up’ or ‘thumbs down’, and who would do a better Oscar speech.

Although Conan O’Brien does miss them a bit as how I do, but I sure hope we get new popular film critics as how they did. On whoever gives the thumbs up or thumbs down. In the meantime, I do thank Conan O’Brien for how he also wrote those episode ideas for “The Simpsons” TV show. One of them that he did, that was my very first Simpsons episode that me and my two twin brothers have ever watched, was ‘Marge vs the Monorail’. Where Phil Hartman as Lyle Lanley gave them a monorail train, as it became a runaway train. There was indeed, that monorail song that he wrote that I found it entertaining.

So since he did that in the early 1990’s, these are his late night show guests that he ever loved on. All the way from Chicago, Illinois, two famous film critics. Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert.

Norbit (2007)

Warning: This movie review contains gross content that you or your kids will not like. So please make sure that you and your kids don’t toss your cookies down the toilet, or pee in bed while having a nightmare about this.

“Have you ever made a really big mistake?”

2007 movie poster.

When you are looking for the person of your dreams, as how much you admire that person, you want to make sure you look for the right one. Not the wrong one. Even before Valentine’s Day. Which is why this hilarious comedy movie takes the kick.

In fact, this was nominated for the Academy Award for Best Makeup and Hairstyling at the 80th Academy Awards. Jon Stewart was the host, as only “La Vie en rose” deserved it. Film critics from the Chicago Sun-Times Richard Roeper and Roger Ebert couldn’t do a review on this, cause they had problems of their own.

In 2007, there was “Sydney White” with Amanda Bynes, as how she did in a supporting role in “Hairspray”, and this with Eddie Murphy, Cuba Gooding Jr, Eddie Griffin, Terry Crews, Marlon Wayans, and Eddie Murphy’s brother Charlie before his death in 2017. In fact, Eddie Murphy took on three roles in this, that made this movie absolutely hilarious. The frightened and funny guy Norbit, his adoptive Chinese-American father, and that morbidly obese, sadistic abusive and tyrannical woman….

….Rasputia Latimore.

(These two gentlemen scream like little girls)

Since his early childhood, Norbit had been in love with a girl at a orphanage until she left. Five years later as a boy, while being bullied by a pair of ginger kid twin brothers (like Fred Weasley & George Weasley in the “Harry Potter” series), he was rescued luckily by Rasputia who became his protector and friend to him.

By the time they were adults, Rasputia became so obsessed on him while having relational aggression. She would even break the bed while doing a body slam on Norbit, and wouldn’t stop complaining about her car seat in her small car.

“That scientifically prove that you was adjusting my seat!”

During the trouble with Rasputia, he found out that her family are criminals. Especially her. Then came that childhood girl who returned, as Norbit was very happy. He needed to the courage to get rid of Rasputia along with her family, and tell her childhood girlfriend how much she loves him in his heart. Therefore he did. And won the girl of his dreams.

During this, Rasputia was hilarious. Whenever she goes down a water slide, how she is singing that Pussycat Dolls song, “Don’t Cha” on the radio, how her boobies were touching the car’s horn, bad case of flatulence, and chasing kids after stealing her hat.

For a success, just in time for Valentine’s Day, 6.9/10 stars is what I give.

So when we are admiring someone, which is the person of your dreams, you want to make sure to tell that person how much you love her/him. And most of all, we would never gain weight as how Rasputia did. We need to be fit as a fiddle and ready for love. Not be like that 400 pound woman.

Otherwise, you’d wind up like these lousy cartoon characters who each made a mistake when they gained weight or become bloated like Rasputia all of a sudden. Same thing as how Monkey D. Luffy from “Once Piece” did when he took his voyage too far with stretchy powers.

Sandy Cheeks: See? They are even worse than we thought. Even for our friend.
Patrick Star: What’d ya mean? He’s fine…
Two African American kids: No!!
BobPants SpongeSquare: I’m okay Sandy. Really.
Mojo Jojo: Not anymore you aren’t. As how I got squashed by you and one more, blue all over.
Guard: Boy, you really need medical assistance. Luckily for you, the Hostile Hospital is where you’ll be going at.

Until later….

Gary (portrayed by Anthony Michael Hall): Hey listen Mrs. Puff, you really need to have your cartoon tv show cancelled.
Mrs. Puff: I know that. I don’t know why do we continue ongoing. Okay boys, take me away.
(They push her in an ambulance as they take her away, screaming inside)
Prof. Farnsworth: Well let’s deal with the rest. They are starting to smell up the joint.
(Fry, Leela, lobster guy and the rest deal with the rest of the cartoon characters, bloated like Rasputia)
(Just then, Norbit then cakes face to face with an angry mom and dad, about their daughters. A fish doctor from Bikini Bottom then interrupts)
Dr. Gilliam: Like the rest madam, your three daughters will have to head for the Warpo General Hospital to become normal again. Dr. Bones will have to do them one at a time, with the help of mr brother Dr. Gilligan.
Le Big Muttball: Warpo General Hospital?
The mom (portrayed by Missi Pyle): And who is this Dr. Bones? What’s he gonna do to them including our daughters there?
Mr. Walrus: I’ve been there before missy. Once a madhouse, but didn’t turn out bad. He has a serum that can make your daughters pee out any juice. Either that or they’ll stay the same forever. Even if you want to push them through the doors. The rest however will have to remain there for 8 months…
(She hurried heads to the door, frightened, to help push her bloated daughters through)
(She hurried heads to the door, frightened, to help push her bloated daughters through)
(Norbit wimps nervously)
His adoptive Chinese-American father: It’s a horror show….
Sam, the father (portrayed by Leonard Stone): I’ll you get for this Eddie Murphy! It’s the last thing I’ll ever do!
Le Big Muttball: Doesn’t he ever stop complaining?
Gary (portrayed by Anthony Michael Hall): You don’t wanna know sister.

8 months later….

Applejack: You okay little doggy?
(She nods her head, up and down saying yes)
Krypto (portrayed by Canadian voice actor Samuel Vincent): Never better Applejack. She does need to lay off for a while. And her name is Mammoth Mutt by the way.
Applejack: Well, I sure am a big fan of your cartoon TV show. And I hope that they’ll do a movie with you, Streaky the Cat, and your friends the Dog Stars.
Dr. Gilliam: I’m sure that will happen soon. In the meantime, she will need to lay low for a while.
Le Big Muttball or Mammoth Mutt: I sure will Doc. No more of that.
Dr. Gilligan: Atta girl. Either lay low or wind up not like your bloated friends, but also that poor character heading for the works to be mended. Just look at him now.
Diesel: Oh man! I’m gonna be blow up like Mt. Vesuvius if I don’t get there in time!
Brainy Barker: Build up smoke up all you will! But this is the reason on why our cartoon tv shows were cancelled and so will you and everyone else.
Sasha: And just FYI you diesel engine, this whole CGI animation business gets crappier, and crappier on your cartoon tv show every day as the same!
(Sasha grabs a prize bone and takes off)

THE END